I dont feel so great

How come and why does one little thing have the ability to change everything. you get sick once, and then BAM! sparks one thing and then the next. and even now, its not all over =/
what happened to the girl who used to live at the theatre
what happened to the girl who never had to worry about being allergic to stupid makeup product

i really dont know where i'm going in life.
but i know what i want. what i want is to experience things, see things, feel things. I want to go back and see the past through architecture and art, i want to go back to Europe. i want to spend a whole summer in France and Italy.
I want to dare to jump from a helicopter and straight into the clear Caribbean sea.
I know what it feels like to be in love for the first time.
I want to be someone in life. I have a life list still waiting to be shared and finished, just need to make sure i've got someone who's going to be up for the ride.